One reason I have been discouraged about the adoption process is because things are changing in the way the referral process is being done. That is a major reason why the timeline may bog down.
I was told this week by someone from Lifeline that we have been blazing through our Home Study! Yet, if we manage to complete it by the end of October (my goal, 2 months after starting) we still won’t be LID until January or February because of everything else that will need to be done.
And we will need to accept a referral by February if we want to be able to travel this summer (in August). And they probably won’t give a referral until we have LID unless we are open to a child that is older or with more serious needs.
Most adoption agencies seem to be doing the orphanage partnership programs now. Someone told me that there were only 22 kids on the shared list last month, from all of China, and most of them are older or have more serious needs. Everyone else is being referred through orphanage partnership programs.
I am thankful we went with Lifeline, in God’s sovereignty, which partners with 9 orphanages at this point. But because we want a young girl with minor correctable needs, and I believe it is all done in order of LID (those with earlier LID get priority), it is looking VERY unlikely that we will get a referral within the first month.
It sounds like it could take many months to even get one referral, and if we don’t accept it for whatever reason, it could be more months before we get another.
Or it might not. I need to remember that it is all in the Lord’s hands.
We have also been told that we can pray that the child will be under 2 when coming home, and it does happen, but it is the exception not the norm.
In China, apparently, they often do not automatically start processing paperwork when the child turns 6 months and they legally can. They often wait a year or more before they decide to start even processing the paperwork, and it is all up to the director at each individual orphanage, whether they think a child is “adoptable” and when they feel like doing it. I am convinced this is part of the spiritual battle surrounding adoption.
All of this fuels more prayer….but it can also be discouraging, making me feel like we will never get a referral, or that our expectations are not realistic for the type of referral we will get, and that everything is changing and maybe it isn’t going to work out.
David said we can’t get caught up in that type of thinking, and he is right…we just need to keep moving forward, and trust that the Lord will open the doors if it is His will for us to adopt. If not, He will close the doors as we move through the process. But for now, we feel Him telling us to move forward so we just need to keep doing that, trusting in His plan and His timing, whatever it is.
I need to trust that in His sovereignty he led us to start this process in August 2012 not January 2012. He knew we would be doing all this during Jack’s senior year, and He knew what that would mean for me, for David, and for Jack.
He knew all of this, and we just have to keep trusting Him, since we don’t know the answers to any of it.
I don’t know how it will all work out, and for someone who likes to be in control, that can be frustrating and discouraging. But I know the One Who knows, and He not only KNOWS how it will all work out, He is SOVEREIGN over it. And He loves us! And He loves this little girl, our future daughter. That is what I am holding on to in the midst of so many unknowns…